...AIR STAGNATION ADVISORY IN EFFECT UNTIL 1 PM MST FRIDAY...
* WHAT...An extended period of stagnant air, with light winds
and little vertical mixing.
* WHERE...Portions of south central, southwest and west central
Idaho and northeast and southeast Oregon.
* WHEN...Until 1 PM MST Friday, and this time may be extended.
* IMPACTS...Periods of air stagnation can lead to the buildup of
pollutants near the surface.
* ADDITIONAL DETAILS...Winds will increase Tuesday, Wednesday, and
Thursday afternoons in portions of the Upper Treasure Valley
(generally in and around Mountain Home) to the point where
stagnation will be limited. However, the majority of the zone
will experience stagnant air and was therefore included in this
advisory.
PRECAUTIONARY/PREPAREDNESS ACTIONS...
An Air Stagnation Advisory concerns itself with meteorological
conditions only. For more information on air pollution in Idaho,
visit website www.deq.idaho.gov. For Oregon, visit website
www.oregon.gov/deq.
If possible, reduce or eliminate activities that contribute to
air pollution, such as outdoor burning, and the use of
residential wood burning devices. Reduce vehicle trips and
vehicle idling as much as possible.
&&
I didn’t wear glasses until I was 19. As an up-and-coming visionary word nerd, I had never thought I needed corrective lenses. Of course, I always fancied monocles, although I didn’t know how to keep one in place.
As it turned out, I was near-sighted. I learned this by attending a large lecture hall-format class in college. I found myself squinting to see the professor’s handwritten notes scrawled on the chalkboard. I began to get headaches from the eye strain. Soon enough, I went to an optometrist and got my first prescription glasses. Now I look 17% smarter!
You knew a grammar tie-in was coming, and here it is: the headache caused by a squinting modifier. Yes, squinting (or ambiguous, as they’re sometimes called) modifiers are misplaced words or phrases that are placed in a sentence so that they could refer to one or two parts of a sentence.
Here’s an example: Karate-chopping often causes injury. Due to the placement of the modifier “often,” we can interpret this sentence in one of two ways. We don’t know if “often” modifies “karate-chopping” or “causes injury.” To correct this, we need to move “often” so it is clear which phrase it is affecting.
Byron told a stranger at the bus stop eventually the moon would shrink to the size of a walnut. In this example, does “eventually” modify “told” or “would shrink”? Did Byron wait until the stranger at the bus stop was walking onto the bus? Either way, I’d be suspicious.
Gluten-free creperies are open on Leap Day only in the village of Coubisou. Now, for those of you who don’t know French towns, Coubisou is a village in northern France; its compound name (cou bisou) translates into English as “neck kiss.”
Regardless, the placement of “only” in the above sentence makes you wonder: are the specialty creperies only open on Leap Day, or are they only open in Coubisou? Are you curious about the notion of a pop-up gluten-free crepe shop? If only “only” were placed before “gluten-free” or after “Coubisou,” we’d have a better understanding of what’s happening here.
The moral of today’s story, boys and girls, is that we need to be careful about where we place our modifiers; if we aren’t, we might not know where to find wheatless crepes on Leap Day.
Curtis Honeycutt is an award-winning syndicated humor columnist and author. Connect with him at curtishoneycutt.com.
