Minerva's Breakdown

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Dear Minerva:

I have a friend who is about to have a baby. I have gone to a lot of trouble to arrange her a gender-reveal party. I have spent my own money and have taken care of every detail. Now she is saying that she doesn’t want to have one. I offered it to her as my gift to her and I am irritated that she doesn’t want it. I thought we were good to go and she has told me that she wants me to call it all off. I think it is going to be so cute. I am so angry that she intends not to come to the event. I feel like confronting her and demanding that I get reimbursed for my trouble. What should I do?


Baby Blues

Dear BB:

You must not know me well if you are trying to get me to defend your offer of throwing someone a “gender reveal” party. I think they are the absolute pinnacle of tackiness and lack of awareness around gender. If you want an excuse to party, why bring a baby’s genitalia into it? Throw a baby shower. Ask her what colors she wants to use in the nursery or for clothing. If you offered this “gift” and she doesn’t want it, you absolutely need to respect her wishes. She is an expectant mother and if something doesn’t feel right to her, then she should not be forced to go through with it in order to appease you. If you decided to go all gung-ho on this travesty of an archaic custom, then you have to eat the cost. Next time, ask the mother-to-be what she wants and respect her wishes.

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