Out of the entire flush of unabashed idiocy saturating the Nampa School Board’s decision to ban those 22 books from the district’s libraries, to this observer (standing on the sidelines not sure whether to laugh or chew my tongue off), the most idiotic aspect was them declaring their decision to be in effect “forever.” For! Ever!
Imagine that. Such unexceptional people believing they have accomplished something that will last, presumably, until the end of time. Believing they are so potent that their little tin-pot edict will withstand the test and temptation of any and all future enlightenment. Believing that nothing lies ahead for Nampa’s public schools but one bloc of dullard trustees after another, all agreeing to keep whatever wisdom is within those books from crossing paths with the young minds of Nampa, in perpetuum.
For those who regard this latest manifestation of Conservatism’s irrepressible urge to control what other people can — and can’t — think, I apologize for coming to this issue late. It’s been seven weeks since the deed was done, and my instincts would normally have prompted me to admit I missed the moment and to move on to more current affairs.
But the controversy doesn’t seem to want to die, does it? People furious seven weeks ago are still angry, and certain local media outlets are still stirring the ruins for clues to what happened. Yet, from the censorious parents who set this tempest aroil in the Nampa teapot, there is nothing to be heard. Who are they, anyway?
Ah, but “they” is such a relative word when it comes to how many disgruntled voices it takes to generate authoritarian behavior in a community that ostensibly prides itself on its anti-authoritarian attitudes. As it turns out, the “they” in question is one mother who made the initial complaint, followed by a few dozen names she gathered on an on-line petition that no longer exists, and she did it all the way back in January of 2021 — 16 months before the three Lord Judges of Literary Acceptability handed down their verdict.
This woman — who we might think would be proud to come forth and defend her position, as she managed to accomplish in one dumpy burg what centuries of anti-enlightenment crusaders have been unable to accomplish (for very long) across the map of the civilized world — has evidently chosen to remain anonymous, and, as of this writing, has not responded to queries from reporters. Makes you wonder, doesn’t it: Does she even exist?
Okay, maybe I’m starting to sound like some conspiracy-slobbering crank, but think about it: We know who the people against the ban are. They’re making themselves known with their public readings and book give-aways and scornful letters to local editors. But who are those who initiated the ban in the first place? Could such a furor have arisen from one dubious griper, without the eager complicity from the three silly school board trustees who’ve managed to turn her lonely gripe into a blizzard of controversy?
And how did Ms. Prefers-To-Remain-Anonymous pick those specific books to gripe about in the first place? Did she actually read them? Did her kids actually read them? Does she actually have kids?
Or! — (and be aware that I am entering even deeper into a theoretical rabbit hole here) — perhaps there is a Mysterious Outside Influence (MOI) involved in this matter. Perhaps Ms. Anonymous was provided the list of objectionable books by this MOI, and coached on what to do with it, at which point she approached the school board with “her” (wink wink) objections. And perhaps the majority of that school board had been coached on what to expect and what to do about it. And perhaps the 22 books were not picked by Ms. Anonymous at all, but were picked for her to complain about by this MOI, which perhaps had been waiting for just such an opportunity to make its move. And by “such an opportunity,” I mean the fact that every one of the trustees who voted for this ban has been installed since the beginning of the year. This year.
That’s right. The three board members who did this — Jeff Kirkman (Board Chair), Tracey Pearson (Vice-Chair), and Marco Valle (Go-Along Guy) — are all the result of the turmoil afflicting the Nampa School Board in the wake of the pandemic, and, more pointedly, the extreme Right’s rush to exploit the pandemic for political yardage. Kirkman and Pearson were installed in January, and Valle was appointed in March, and there you have it: By the May 11 pronouncement, there was a majority alignment of group-thinking bobble-heads perfectly willing to take marching orders from whichever MOI got them elected in the first place — perhaps.
As to which MOI might have done all this (theoretical) plotting and coaching? Okay, there’s the relatively new Idaho Family Policy Center, a collection of theocrats who host activist “boot camps” in area churches. But my prime suspect is the Idaho Freedom Foundation. And actually, they’re not mysterious and are, in fact, well-known for their eagerness to meddle in affairs of Idaho governance at every level. In their pre-election interviews with Kirkman and Pearson, those two contenders rang all the IFF-approved chimes when asked about issues like mask enforcement, vaccinations, critical race theory and everything else the pestilent Right has been shrieking about in hopes of making normal people forget what horrible human beings they are.
And I’ll bet — with no hope of ever proving it — that’s where the “forever” stipulation came from in the ban announcement. It doesn’t seem to me to be something the school board geniuses — as amateur and inept as they have proven to be — would have thought to include. But after years of watching the IFF spooks sneak about behind the curtains of Idaho’s politics, I can well imagine them demanding this dirty work to be eternal. It’s a tendency among the trending-fascist types, isn’t it? … to fantasize about themselves in total control until the end of time.
