...AIR STAGNATION ADVISORY REMAINS IN EFFECT UNTIL 1 PM MST
FRIDAY...
* WHAT...An extended period of stagnant air, with light winds
and little vertical mixing.
* WHERE...Portions of south central, southwest and west central
Idaho and northeast and southeast Oregon.
* WHEN...Until 1 PM MST Friday, and this time may be extended.
* IMPACTS...Periods of air stagnation can lead to the buildup of
pollutants near the surface.
* ADDITIONAL DETAILS...Winds will be strong enough today,
Wednesday, and Thursday afternoons in portions of the Upper
Treasure Valley and Western Magic Valley to limit stagnation.
However, parts of the zones will experience stagnant air and
were therefore included in this advisory.
PRECAUTIONARY/PREPAREDNESS ACTIONS...
An Air Stagnation Advisory concerns itself with meteorological
conditions only. For more information on air pollution in Idaho,
visit website www.deq.idaho.gov. For Oregon, visit website
www.oregon.gov/deq.
If possible, reduce or eliminate activities that contribute to
air pollution, such as outdoor burning, and the use of
residential wood burning devices. Reduce vehicle trips and
vehicle idling as much as possible.
&&
The thought occurred to me, as I limbered up my fingers in preparation for 2023’s prophesies, that maybe I oughta just retire this wondrous gift I have for prognosticating the future. “Put it out to pasture,” as we used to say down on the farm. Seriously, what could possibly happen in Idaho that you don’t already know is coming?
Like — Nostril Bill predicts that in the coming year, another onslaught of absurdly-priced condominium hives will arise in downtown Boise … that Republicans in total control of the Idaho Legislature will pass one Idaho Freedom Foundation-authored bill after another … and that thousands of ultra-right nitwits will migrate to Idaho, further polluting the state political pool with paranoid delusions of drag queens forcing Critical Race Theory on every child with a library card.
See? Those were all authentic visions I had recently while I was in wispy-mists-of-time mode, but did any of it come as a surprise? Of course not! Idaho is like a haunted jukebox that never stops playing the same old crappy tunes, over and over and over. And let me tell you, it’s no fun being a seer when everything you foresee looks so much like what you foresaw last January, and the January before that, that you start to forget what year it is. It’s like putting the wrong date on a check, but it could be any year from 2022 back to Dirk Kempthorne’s first term as Governor!
However, I really do enjoy informing my audience of the impending disasters and tragic turns they will witness in the near future, so I will not deny myself, or you, the pleasure of my doom and gloom. But rather than waste these excellent soothsaying talents on our local crud, I will concentrate my visionariness on coming events beyond our borders. With that said, let us begin. Nostril Bill predicts that ...
... shortly after the U.S. Congress convenes, a video of Colorado’s Congresswoman Lauren Boebert will emerge showing her in a DC-area bowling alley bar, shrieking insults and heaping abuse on a shocked young Georgetown student whose only offense seems to have been that he used a five-syllable word. Boebert will laugh it off, explaining that it was all the fault of too many Screaming Orgasms on an empty stomach.
... Kevin McCarthy will narrowly win the position of House Speaker, but two weeks later, he will be caught sneaking into Nancy Pelosi’s office after working hours. Accused by various far-Right figures of fraternizing with the enemy, McCarthy defends his meetings with her, saying, “Look, you want her investigated? Well, somebody has to show me how to do stuff like that!”
... on a moonless night in February, Vladimir Putin will slip out of the Kremlin on a secret mission to a deep, spooky cave in the Ural Mountains, where he will try to convince an army of greenish Russian ghosts to go fight in his war with Ukraine. They refuse, reminding Putin that they wouldn’t be greenish Russian ghosts in the first place had they never gone to Ukraine in various wars dating back 400 years.
... early in May, Britain’s King Charles (with surreptitious tutoring from actor Geoffrey Rush) will learn how to speak to his subjects without looking like he’s just stepped in dog poop.
... during their spring fundraising drive, having not even come close to exhausting their audience’s appetite for any and all things Irish, the Public Broadcasting System will air a three-hour special featuring the latest cultural phenomenon to emerge from the land of Enya and Riverdance—”Celtic Jello Wrestling.”
... just when there’s nothing left to say about anyone in the Kardashian/Jenner clan, one of them does something stupid. Again.
... fighting extradition orders from both Georgia and New York at the same time, Donald Trump will release a new batch of NFTs (Non-Fungible Token trading cards) depicting him as the most picked-on guy in human history. Of particular interest to his Evangelical supporters is the one where he’s telling the Biblical figure of Job to “Hold my beer.”
... just in time for the summer solstice, Ye (the artist formerly known as Kanye West) will join the Ku Klux Klan, and shortly thereafter change his name to “Ye Bob.”
... financial genius and richest person in the solar system Elon Musk will make a bid to buy all the rest of the Internet to compliment his purchase of Twitter. He succeeds, becoming sole owner of the entire World Wide Web. But as he is carrying it to his car, he drops it in the parking lot and breaks it.
... Prince Harry and Meghan Markle will bring their act to the newly-opened Balmoral Hotel and Casino in Las Vegas, but the show closes within a month, as it turns out neither of them can sing, dance, or tell a joke.
... even as Republicans try everything they can think of to thwart him, Joe Biden will get a dozen more landmark pieces of legislation through Congress and signed into law. In spite of accomplishing more than all the others presidents dating back to FDR combined, all Fox News can talk about is the incident at one of those Kennedy Center black-tie affairs where he appears to be sleeping through a performance of James Taylor’s greatest hits.
... on Labor Day, Ron DeSantis will announce his intention to run for President, and promises to turn all of America into one big Florida. Weird, icky, swamp people from coast to coast are jubilant.
... by the end of the year, Americans will come to believe that the Covid-19 pandemic is finally, definitely, at long last, over. But it will turn out we’re all wrong, as the sneaky bastard was just hiding out in the Covid-20 drawer.
... legions of Baby Boomers, when informed by their ecstatic grand-daughters and great-grand-daughters that Taylor Swift is once again going on tour, will stop whatever they’re doing and ask, “Who?”
