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July 14

1400 BLOCK OF FENNEL WAY-Sgt. Bosco "B.A." Barascus of the A-Team needs just one more piece to create the perfect vehicle to escape the nefarious Colonel Fulbright. Aha! There it is-a steering column! And this fool even left the door unlocked ...

July 15

1100 BLOCK OF W. STATE ST-A tubby larcenist still hasn't given up on New Years resolutions; steals a gym bag from an unlocked car. Now if he could just convince someone else to steal 30 pounds of his man-boob, he might steal a glimpse of his toes.

1900 BLOCK OF GRANT WAY-Sure, it's best to show up at your job interview with the required tools in hand. Just hope those tools and construction equipment remote control you stole from that home don't belong to the contractor.

July 16

3600 BLOCK OF CAMBORNE ST-An inevitable consequence of the swollen SUV revolution: A local moron confuses an unlocked car with a Wal-Mart, steals fuzzy dice, tanning lotion, a coat and CDs.

100 BLOCK OF S. ORCHARD ST-A multimedia sympathizer spies a case of CDs and DVDs about to melt in a car; gives the neglected discs a better home. The ignorant owner calls the cops.

July 17

4800 BLOCK OF HEADLONG ST-Prop-deprived filmmaker steals a chainsaw from an unlocked car. Hopefully the victim gets mentioned in the DVD commentary.

July 19

3500 BLOCK OF W. STATE-Nothing gets between me and my Calvins. Not even some dupe's unlocked car door. Same goes for the cigarettes on the dashboard.

5100 BLOCK OF WATERWHEEL ST-Everybody likes to collect something. Maybe it's stamps. Or beer koozies. Or ... CD player faceplates from a few unlocked cars.

fun facts:

28 out of Boise's 38 burglaries this week were inflicted upon unlocked vehicles and homes.

Items obtained through local thefts will require 10 AA batteries in order to operate.

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