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Recently my friend Melissa reached out to see if we could get together. You may remember her as the friend this fall that ghosted me when she got a better offer. I have not seen her since that lonely Saturday night, but we have kept in touch via social media and texting. She met someone last spring and has been happily seeing him ever since. Like me, she has struggled in the past with relationships and was drowning in the online dating apps.

Because Melissa and I shared our single status for so long, she became my ride or die. We talked regularly, saw each other multiple times a week, and took girls trips together. While our relationship was strong, I watched her lose a lot of friendships over the years. She is the sort of person that needs all the attention on her. If she thinks someone else is overshadowing her, she struggles to be happy for them and sees it as competition. This personality trait has made me hesitant to talk to her about Ben.

Recently she reached out to see if I wanted to get together and I decided to be open-minded and go. That whole day I felt sick, afraid that she would say something nasty about Ben or make me feel bad about dating him. I told her about how he called me after our first date she interrupted me to say “gross.” Who says that? She had similar responses the rest of the evening and then told me about how wonderful her boyfriend is and that she thinks he is the one. As we walked to our cars, she told me we should get the guys together sometime. I’m in no rush to make that happen.

I have enjoyed introducing Ben to my friends and can’t wait to do more double dates, but there will not be any dates with Melissa. My friends and family have all shared in the excitement of me meeting and seeing Ben, why would I want to waste a night out with Melissa? With friends like that, who needs enemies? Cheers to true friends!

—A.S.

Email me at anonymouslysingle@boiseweekly.com or follow me on Instagram @anonymouslysingle.

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