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For years I have been alone on Valentine’s Day. I have done Galantine’s Day celebrations with my friends, ordered heart shaped pizzas for myself, or pretended like the day didn’t exist. I am used to being single. This year, I have Ben and am experiencing Valentine’s Day almost as if it’s the first time. We are exchanging gifts and going on a little romantic getaway. I even splurged on some festive pink candy to put in a candy bowl on my coffee table. Who am I?

Ben and I recently changed our relationship status on Facebook. While the act of doing that made me feel a little immature and uncomfortable, I was pleasantly surprised by the outpouring of acknowledgement from family and friends. I am not saying every time someone likes a post its because of some warm emotion or genuine feeling, but it felt good to see that people appeared to be happy for me. I have been single or in the tug of war with X for so long that I think people enjoyed seeing that I am in a relationship and it appears to be healthy. I even had some outreach from X’s network. They are also pleased I have put that saga behind me.

My healthy relationship and plans for the coming weekend are something I haven’t had in a while and instead of overthinking it or setting unrealistic expectations, I am going to go with the flow and enjoy my time with Ben. Now, I realize I write this column for singles and many of you are not in the same boat this year. No one likes to hear about happy people on Valentine’s Day or how they can do something differently so they aren’t alone next year. I always hated hearing how I will find someone when I am not looking or how someone’s cousin’s best friend met their husband on Tinder, so I will not say that to you.

Last year I wrote about not having unhealthy expectations and this year’s Valentine’s Day advice is to be your own valentine. Do something you love on this three-day weekend. Go on a hike or take a drive and explore the beauty of Idaho. Find a new recipe to try while drinking your favorite wine and celebrate the fact that you don’t have to think about anyone else’s needs or wants. Spoil yourself with a bubble bath and a good book and be grateful you can still have some alone time. We waste so much time thinking about what we don’t have or what’s wrong with the world. Take this Valentine’s Day to think about the positives and spoil yourself with something you love.

Cheers to you! Email me at or follow me on Instagram @anonymouslysingle

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